Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Cobblestones

Finally forgotten,
My words shudder as they fly
Towards the tired heavens’ gentle stare
What fine weather we are having
Some say
But you simply vanished
In the air

Today I told a story
To the smirking cobblestones
They only looked at me and frowned.
You see they didn’t like the way
I rambled on.
No one wants to listen

Still I hear your voice
When the warm night sleeps
It breaks into my dreams and tells me
I simply can’t go back
To when the trees were yellow
And when the sun
Was green.

But maybe
Through the warm night
You’ll hear me too
If I reply that I don't care
I will escape.
The cobblestones would be proud
I am silent

The Motor

There is no more reasoning to be done. I have found it. Or at least I have finally uncovered my illness, though I do not know its cause or its cure at present. However, I feel that soon I must uncover these as well since I have found the beginning of the trail. The growing unrest that simmers beneath my skin is simply this: that the life that is in me, the love and passion and ability that give me purpose appear to be drying up like a fading stream. I am thirsty for truth, I am lost, I am blinded, I am weakened. I know not why it goes or whence, but something is abandoning me. I wish to, yet dare not know what the nature of this obscurity is. A shadowy fear of knowledge lurks in the weak recesses of my soul.
Must I be afraid of loosing myself? If I loose myself for an ultimate good, that is no loss is it? That is, there can be only one Thing worth loosing myself for, and He is noble and worthy and the loss is beautiful and fit and perfect. However, what of losing myself to an infinite void? What if I slowly decay into nothing? What can I do to prevent this horror?
I will not, cannot tell anyone of this, my deepest self, but him. This realization is perhaps a glimpse into this loss of myself. Perhaps it is because he has become nothing but a face and the remembrance of a dream to me that I sink. My being is delicately tied to him, and he but a dream. My soul is pulled down by the rock of that dream into the drowned blue deep of nothingness. No, it is not beautiful. I feel powerless against it, and yet there must be an escape. I hear the answer whispered in my ear. “Tie your soul to something that can lift you and your heavy dreams out of the drowning water.”
‘The youth is passionate,’ they say, ‘but as the sprout grows older and the world with him, he discovers that his passion is in vain. There is nothing he can love that is truly worthy. There is nothing he can trust that is firmly fixed. There is nothing that is beautiful but his own illusions.’ Is this then reality, my poor soul? Do you not see where this path will lead you? Alas, you see far beyond the words you write, and it is those same words that pushed your mind thus far. It is they who urged you around the bend that you might travel towards the next. It is they who unwound your mind, just as you wished he could…and he could but he is gone. Think not my sweet of love that has burned amidst the melting wax until it split the tender hearts of youth. Sigh no more.
What of that potential, that purpose, that power that writhes in anguish, contained by your stronghold’s walls? Will you set it free that it may find its meaning? Will you act upon this desire to serve, to love, to worship, to work, to make, to do, to live? Will you cease to hoard that power inside of you where it rots and will become revolting, even to your own eyes? Will you not place it, knowingly, with your eyes wide open, into the hands of the inventor?
You are that motor that will change the world. However, you must first become one with your Creator. Then you will function. Then you will be fit to fulfill your purpose. Then the missing parts will be restored. Then you will become a human being again. Do not rot away in a dark tunnel under the ground. You must become a light to the people of the earth.
My but water is sweet, as sweet as truth. What say you, oh phantom of the night? You are my soul. Answer me. Will you drive your course towards the hidden purpose, or will you sit in grey solitude of mind and decay in dust along with your body? Oh wonderful soul, it is His way to let you choose your course. Do you not wish to encounter Him, your Inventor, the Mind behind your own? What wonder is this that the motor should meet its Inventor? However it may be, this motor is the pride of the Inventor’s life. It is the work of His hands, mind, and soul. It possesses the same spark of divinity that lies in Him. Well then, is the motor not a beautiful thing if only it functions as it was meant to? Will it not, in that state, be the closest to it’s own true meaning and be filled with the joy of purpose? Question this weary mind no more. The end is reached. Do not let this world swallow your purpose. Remember, oh man, that you are but a man.
I saw you in the sea today,
Peering at my reflection,
I saw you staring back at me.

As if I were a ghost

The Lies I Hold Onto

Did I ever tell you that I lie?
You always told me that you'd try
To make me smile sometimes

Did I ever tell you that I tried
To fake a smile for you sometimes
So that you'd know I try.

You always told me that you liked
The way I played with your hands.
I always told you that I liked
The way I played with your hands.

Did I ever tell you that I cry
Did I, did I...

I memorize all the time that we're together
I lie awake at night and memorize
I lie awake to pass the time

tired, tired, so tired of waiting
you didn't come
you didn't come
you didn't come

Cut to the bone my fingers shiver
Cut to the bone where are you now?
Cut to the bone I love you still
I lie awake to pass the time

Did I ever tell you that I lie?
I lie awake to pass the time.
You always told me that you'd try
To make me smile sometimes.

The Meeting

Simple pictures tumble through my head
Something wonderful has happened to us
Languages we've never spoken before
Inspire us at the crossroads where we

Meet it seems for the first time
In love it seems for the first time
Hope, she seems to be smiling down
Upon our hearts as they

Fly through open skies
all we know is our
Hands holding tight as we
Flit through morning light
All we can see is our
Breath in the air of a new beginning


stars speak wonders to the listening eyes.
i blinked. where is ‘the glory now’ that once filled
the horizon? i begged them to sweetly sing
over the moaning wind, ‘till morning
is born into the cavernous dark.

Your words, like the dew soak
into my skin. Your words are firm beneath me
like the green ground...ground by our feet.
You are so close that i often walk over You,
You speak and i don't look

down...down to here and now.
instead i fret after the stars
and that they are so dim and far
and smothered by the city lights,
the smoke, the noise, the humanity.

yet human we remain, floundering in our desires.
teach me the song of morning.
teach me the song of dew,
for in their twinkling tears i see the ‘wonders of now'

down…down to here and now.
they lie unseen beneath us, upon the green ground
ground beneath our feet, a 'gift of now’
to the smoke, the noise, the humanity.
stars speak wonders to the listening eyes.


Life seems a funny thing with his hands tied behind his back.
Life seems a funny thing when the world sits back and laughs
At life crying out in pain, fighting to stand up
To save their lives from everything that kept them captives of

Life seems a funny thing when I look into his eyes.
What can this trembling mean, as he offers me to die
For all the blank, unblinking eyes that seek to live but die
I’ll find him in the morning light he promised me tonight.

Life seems a funny thing we spit into his face.
We crown his head in mockery and curse him in our hate.
Life, his blood flows from his hands, Life, his blood flows free.
Life looks down on my pale face and says, “Now you are free.”

Life, fill me up at last, oh Life conquer me
Life, brand me with your love and bring me to my knees
Life, place your hand on me, let your blood make me clean
Life catch me up in You, for rest eternally

Life seems a funny thing when I fear my dreams won’t last
And all the lies I held onto come crashing down at last.
Now I see my desperate plight and plead for mercy, grace and light
Forgetting death, embrace the life that you were meant to live.

When I'm Afraid, I Sleep

I reach out for you across the dark
The dark angry chasm of my lonely heart
Time spins its circles, love spins its tears
Tell me if you want me. Tell me if you hear.

I follow this line when the weather is fine.
I don’t have a lantern for the hungry night.
When I’m afraid I sleep.
When I’m afraid I sleep.

I once heard that tale of the protector of love.
It was said he knew the weight of the pain of this world.
It was said that he had conquered the dragon of despair.
I knew not where to find him, so I searched everywhere.

His hands are rough, his beard is thick.
He sleeps by the roadside, underneath the stars.
The meadows are his luxury, the drops of dew his riches.
He laughs at the day and sings to the night.

His food is knowledge.
His rest is peace.
His strength is joy.
His love is free.

His children are the orphaned, the fatherless ones.
He captures their hearts and carries their pain.

I am an orphan.
It is this man I seek.
I am an orphan.
It is this man I love.

I am an orphan.
It is this man I seek.
I am an orphan.
Carry me.

There's No Place Like Home

There’s no place like home
Where our dreams are close
Our hearts are strong

And there’s no place like home
I just found I know
Where I belong

Finding you was slow
We thought we know
When we were grown

And kissing you was slow
We grew too close
We loved to strong

Quiet hours I spent with you
I like memorizing what you do
Solemn thoughts fill a solemn face
Tell me what you love
Tell me what you hate

Here in your arms I know
My dreams are close
My heart is strong

And here in your arms I know
You are my home
You are my home

The Tears Upon Your Face

The tears upon your face
Pour down winding roads like tracks in the snow
And the fire in your eyes
Burns like eternity was pent up inside

You need to say
The words that are in your face
You need to say
Whatever it is you came to say

The song that fills your lungs
Breaths life into the carcass of you
And the ground under your feet
Feels firm as you run, firm cuz your free

You need to say
The words that you came to say
You need to break
Your bars of fear and your bars of pain

The curtain falls on all you know
The curtain falls on all you love
The curtain falls on all your strength
Don’t let the curtain fall for the rest of your days

The tears upon your face
Leave tracks of love and tracks of faith
And the fire in your eyes
Burns brighter than the stars in the sky

With tears, you pray
For God to give you strength
With tears, you pray
For God to give you faith

The silence in your eyes
Remembers a time when your face used to shine
And the hope that’s on your tongue
Fights for the love of God, let the battle be won

With tears, you pray
For God to give you strength
With tears, you pray
For God to give you faith

Lonely State of Mind

The sun makes his way across the sky
He found a way to make the clouds cry
What do we have besides our pride
Just a lonely state of mind

And life comes in and out of focus
One moment we are whole and then we are broken
What do we fear in the unspoken
Just a lonely state of mind.

And we keep our hands in our pockets
And we speak our minds to no one
And we sleep with our eyes wide open
Who do we think we’re fooling?

And we dream of our lives and all that we could be
And we watch for the light in the darkness where we
We hide everything that defines us
Who do we think we’re fooling?

The moon makes her way across the sky
She found a way to make this heart cry
What do I have besides my pride?
Just a lonely state of mind

Hush, My Baby Don't You Cry

Hush, my baby don’t you cry
You know I’m by your side
I’ll be there every night
So my baby don’t you cry

Sleep and I’ll be in your dreams
And I’ll fight off those things
That make you fear now
Hush, no my baby don’t you cry

Take my hand
Don’t fear them

Hush, my baby trust me now
The world will throw you down
But listen to the sound
Of my voice now, don’t you cry

I gave my life
To make you mine

Door to Door

Door to door we wander aimlessly
And sleepless are all our dreams
Will we find a place to call our own
And will we ever be free

Are we endless travelers on a road
Of what we want to be true
Do you love that which we are
Or have you fallen for the lie too

Dreams be dreams and life be life
What distinguishes the two?
Dreams be life and life be dreams
Where’s the line between me and you

Closer now we move towards the light
Nothing can stop us now
Do you believe in that which we are
Freedom lies in what we wish for